Loving Like Jesus
As the year is ending, I am in a reflective state. This year has been one of heartache, growth, and renewed love. It’s not always easy to share with others when you are struggling in your marriage, and it can be just as difficult to trust God to repair your marriage, when you are used to being the “fixer.” When I finally relented, trusted God with my marriage and asked my prayer sisters to pray for us, I was brought face to face with the love He showed us through the life of Jesus.
This year Gabe and I celebrated 11 years of marriage. Like all couples we have had our ups and downs, but always seemed to get right back on track. This year, however, we found ourselves in a space that proved difficult for us to get through alone. I didn’t know how we would ever get back on the same page, and at one point, I didn’t know if our marriage would survive.
During this time of hurting, I struggled alone. I didn’t want to share with anyone out of fear of being judged. This includes not turning to God for help. I felt very much like Martha when Lazarus died in John 11. When Jesus arrived at Mary and Martha’s house, Martha confronted Him and said, “Lord, if you had been here my brother wouldn’t have died” (John 11:21, CSB). I found myself saying something similar about my marriage. I couldn’t understand how Jesus allowed this to happen. If He had been there, my marriage would not have been suffering. After being angry, I knew that I needed help. I turned to some of my most trusted prayer sisters and asked that they pray for my marriage. I also began to trust God with my marriage.
I embarked on a 30-day prayer journey and began praying fervently for my marriage and for Gabe. I prayed that God would help me love Gabe and for patience to get through this tough time. It was during this time that I saw Jesus show up. I could feel Him moving and restoring my marriage. Gabe also started working on our marriage. He agreed to join a couple’s Bible Study and attend marriage counseling. We were both dedicated to making our marriage a priority and making it work. I knew that the change in our hearts was due to allowing God to have a place in our marriage.
During our Bible Study and counseling sessions, we were surrounded by people who wanted our marriage to survive just as much as we did. We allowed others to share in our journey and pour into our marriage. We found a renewed love and have grown closer than we have ever been. When I look into Gabe’s eyes, I am reminded of the covenant we made on our wedding day—until death do us part.
Though this year was a bit difficult, Gabe and I learned so much. We learned to be better communicators, but more importantly, we learned to love one another. “I give you a new command: Love one another. Just as I have loved you, you are also to love one another” (John 13:34, CSB).
Stephanie Patterson is originally from Denver, Colorado, and has called Las Vegas home since 2013. She has been married to her incredibly supportive and patient husband, Gabriel, since 2008. Her blended family includes 3 children – 2 adult children living productively on their own (hallelujah!), and a spunky, creative pre-teen who keeps her on her toes. Stephanie became a mother at a young age, and in her late 30s, is finally figuring out who she is. What she has discovered about herself, thus far, is she loves to read, write, cook/bake, and nap. What she has always known is that her heart belongs to God, and she feels called to connect with people who need help seeing that God loves and accepts them as they are. Stephanie is looking forward to sharing her life experiences and hopes to connect with others through the grace and glory of God.