Victory In the Wrestling
I am sitting in my living room, in awe that all four of my children have decided to take a nap. At the same time. It is quiet in my home, a very rare occurrence with four generations living under one roof and half of those people being eight years old and younger. It is in this kind of rare stillness that I realize how loud things are inside of me.
I have wrestled with erupting emotions my entire life. I’m sure if we were sitting down with a cup of coffee and a good dessert, that we could share stories of our lives: funny, difficult, jaw dropping, heart-wrenching stories. In this conversation, we most likely would be transported back in time to these memories we are reminiscing. The feelings would be fueled up again, and the emotion evident as we share. And it would be in this talking that we would experience more understanding of each other and of ourselves.
As I write these thoughts in the rare quiet moments of today, I recognize that by the time this is read by others, an election will have occurred. Half of the country will be ecstatic. Half of the country will be devastated. My emotions can dictate every area of my life if I give them permission to do so. I don’t know how dinner is going to play out tonight, let alone what happens tomorrow, or in the upcoming election. But I DO know that I have this dull, nagging, sense of anxiety about the state of the world. Maybe you do too. Because it’s not just the election, political parties, policies, and differing beliefs; but it’s the ugliness of humanity being displayed continually, whether on the news, social media, or in our families.
And so the emotions get stronger inside of me, but there is no safe place to discuss them. There is no table I can go to have a cup of coffee and good dessert and share stories that will help me understand others and myself more.
Or is there?
As I have wrestled with erupting emotions, and have failed many, many, MANY times in untangling them, I have learned to come to the table with Jesus.
Now, I know that may cause a few to roll their eyes at such a seemingly cliche, cheesy, “Christianese” type of statement. So just hear me out.
When my emotions and thoughts get so loud in my head that the swirling turmoil I experience overflows like slow moving, molten lava into every aspect and relationship of my life, it’s time to come to the table with Jesus. And the beautiful thing is that nothing can separate me from coming to Him:
“What shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble (such as difficult seasons that include a pandemic and political unrest in our country and world) or hardship (finances, health, difficult seasons in marriage and child rearing, complicated family situations and tense friendships) or persecution (standing up for what one believes in and being ridiculed, put down, rejected, or put out because of it) or famine (lacking what it is one needs), or nakedness (being stripped down to the very essence of one’s being) or danger (social injustice and unrest) or sword (volatile world situations that are absolutely terrifying)?” - Romans 8:35 (emphasis mine)
None of these circumstances and the emotions that come with them keep me from coming to the table with Jesus. In fact, He wants me to come to Him, so He can remind me of the truth, that I am a conqueror through Christ despite what I see in the world. I am a conqueror through Christ no matter what is happening in my life. I am a conqueror through Christ no matter what happens in an election this year or four years from now.
When I come to table, I can pour it out to him. I can tell Him all my thoughts. The hurts, the wrongs, the words that were said, the thing I saw on social media. I can bring it to Him. He is called “Wonderful Counselor,” (Isaiah 9:6). I shouldn’t be surprised, but I always am, when I take the time to pour it out to Him, that He meets me where I am, shows me truth I need to hear, gives me grace and mercy to get through, and reveals aspects of the situation or relationship that I hadn’t realized before. This new insight leads me to pray for the situation, circumstances, people involved, and scenarios that I am seeing and experiencing.
Coming to the table to experience victory in the wrestling is an opportunity to move towards connection: first, vertically with my Savior who has overcome this world, and then horizontally with others to shine His love and Light. It’s time that I walk in victory more and more, and be more disciplined in coming to the table to help me understand myself and others better. I can even bring a cup of coffee and a good dessert.
Pouring it out to Jesus allows me to experience victory in the wrestling with my erupting emotions. It gives me permission to feel my feelings, but provides the ability to be in control of my emotions, rather than being controlled by them. The world is a complex and chaotic place and I can either turn to the One who has conquered it and experience victory, or I can allow this world to capture me. I choose victory in the wrestling.
Points to Ponder:
1. What is something you need victory in the wrestling with your emotions right now?
2. What stops you from coming to the table with Jesus?
Megan Sinisi absolutely adores a good cup of coffee, chocolate, and sitting with people to share life stories. She is a native to Las Vegas, born and raised, and has four beautiful children with her handsome husband, Vincenzo. She is a counselor, specializing in the field of addictions, with multiple certifications, both in Nevada and nationally. She directed Nevada’s largest treatment court and has been building her private practice since 2014, acquiring contracts with the City of Las Vegas, City of Henderson, Clark County Special Defender’s Office, and Zappos.com. It is because of her own journey of healing and through her career that she has learned the wounds we have can begin to be healed as we share our stories. She considers it an honor when someone shares their story with her, and hopes that as she shares her stories of victory and healing that others can be inspired, encouraged, and challenged. Megan has a love and fervor for writing and is walking in faith that God is calling her to use that passion and gift for His glory. She is someone who is known for her honesty and transparency that brings light to difficult situations and feelings, and offers hope and encouragement for the journey of life. It is her hope that by sharing her journey, it encourages, challenges, inspires, comforts, and most importantly, shines the light of Jesus and the reality of His love, grace, and mercy. You can find more from Megan at www.meganjsinisi.com And @meganjsinisi on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.