God’s Love Conquers All
As I sit down to write this piece, we are closing in on the end of 2020. Like most people, I am ready for this year to end. It has been a year of ups and downs, gains and losses, and triumph and tragedy. I wish this year was ending on high-note for our family, but right now it feels like the furthest from that. Right now, I am clinging to the cross and entrusting one of my most treasured gifts to God--my daughter.
Anyone who has met Maya will speak of her natural creativity and her “old soul.” Though quiet, she will draw you in with her drawings, paintings, poetry, and storytelling. She has this knack for bringing things to life, including me. She stretches me and makes me want to be a better person. She inspires me to be the person God has called me to be, and to be okay with my uniqueness. Though she is only part of the testimony of God’s blessings in my life, this year, she has been my reason for growing closer to God.
Maya’s birthday is March 12, and this year we celebrated her birthday on March 14. Little did we know, this would be the last time she would see her friends in person, for what would seem like an eternity. On the evening of March 15, the Governor of Nevada announced that all schools would be closed due to COVID-19. Maya was excited at first, because what kid isn’t when they learn they don’t have to wake up early for school. As we transitioned from the traditional in-person schooling she was used to, to an online learning environment, Maya found ways to still be “in” school with her friends. They would sit on FaceTime calls and work through their lessons and eat lunch together. To my husband and me, it seemed like she was coping with this quite well. We would soon learn that this wasn’t the case.
The isolation and fear of the COVID-19 pandemic has taken quite a toll on my sweet girl, as it has on many children. A quick Google search will produce article after article about the mental health challenges children are facing due to the pandemic. It’s been so difficult to see how this has affected her. Currently, she is embroiled in a battle and I have not been able to save her. I have had my fair share of moments of yelling at God about how this isn’t fair, and in the next breath, I found myself calling out to Him to please comfort her and save her. I have had to fall to my knees and say to Him, “She is your daughter before she is mine, and I know you love her more than I ever could, so I trust Your will.” Do you know how hard that is for a mother to say? I have turned to some of my most trusted friends and have shared the details of the battle with them, so they can pray specific prayers for her and our family. Above all else, I have returned to the story in the Bible that I learned earlier this year and have read the words over and over.
Our pastor taught a series on the minor prophets, and when we read through Habakkuk, I was overcome with emotion when we read chapter 3:17-19:
“Even if the fig tree does not bloom
and the vines have no grapes,
even if the olive tree fails to produce
and the fields yield no food,
even if the sheep pen is empty
and the stalls have no cattle—
even then,
I will be happy with the Lord.
I will truly find joy in God, who saves me.
The Lord Almighty is my strength.
He makes my feet like those of a deer.
He makes me walk on the mountains.” (God’s Word Translation)
I love the God’s Word Translation because I have been full of “even if” moments during this time. I have repeated to myself over and over, “even if Maya is hurting right now, I will rejoice in the Lord because I know that He loves her and is the only one who can save her.”
Through this battle, Maya has continued to attend church with me on Sunday mornings, which is giving me so much hope that she is going to pull through this. My prayer for my sweet girl comes from Romans 8:37-39, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (CSB).
I am not naïve to believe that when the clock strikes midnight on January 1, 2021 that our family will be spared from the battle Maya is facing; I do believe Maya will be victorious because she is more than a conqueror because God loves her so dearly.
Stephanie Patterson is originally from Denver, Colorado, and has called Las Vegas home since 2013. She has been married to her incredibly supportive and patient husband, Gabriel, since 2008. Her blended family includes 3 children – 2 adult children living productively on their own (hallelujah!), and a spunky, creative pre-teen who keeps her on her toes. Stephanie became a mother at a young age, and in her late 30s, is finally figuring out who she is. What she has discovered about herself, thus far, is she loves to read, write, cook/bake, and nap. What she has always known is that her heart belongs to God, and she feels called to connect with people who need help seeing that God loves and accepts them as they are. Stephanie is looking forward to sharing her life experiences and hopes to connect with others through the grace and glory of God.