Finding Rest
Happy New Year! I love January because there is a sense of crisp freshness in the air. The world somehow seems filled with opportunity, hope, and energy to push us through the cold,winter months. Usually, somewhere around January 23rd-ish, I find myself not feeling so filled with opportunity, hope, or energy. I tend to feel as though nothing has changed, and I’m still wrestling with my old self: those old habits, problems, insecurities, and dramas. Just to make me feel better, let’s pretend I’m not the only one.
There is a popular section of scripture that is quoted often. It’s on cards, on signs we may hang in our home, and the subject of many sermons:
“Then Jesus said, ‘Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light.’”
(Matthew 11:28-30, NLT).
At first reading, these verses can bring me comfort. In fact, my pastor gave a beautiful sermon illustrating these verses recently. And yet, as he continued to teach, tears streamed down my face. The heavy burdens of life and this world have affected all us in difficult ways these past two years.
I had a thought during his sermon that I just couldn’t shake. I felt as the Lord was speaking directly to my heart. As a therapist, my job is to sit and listen to peoples’ stories. The good, the bad, and the absolutely horrific. It is in sharing your story and having someone listen, that can provide the most healing. Yes, poignant questions and helping someone process their thoughts and experiences have much value as well. But much of the time, it is truly listening and empathizing withsomeone’s story, that helps them move forward. It is this context that I had the thought, “I don’t want to come and find rest with Jesus. Because if I find rest and feel safe, I feel all my feelings. And I don’t want to feel. Because if I feel, then Jesus sees the really big mess I have inside, and there is no way He can love me with all that going on.”
Let’s pretend I’m not the only one that feels this way.
The truth is, that the busier I am, the more I don’t have to feel or think about my situation. For me, it’s not so much about accomplishing things, getting to a certain place in my career, financially, or even relationally. Those can be added perks for sure; but, the real reason I like having a never-ending to-do list and projects is because it gives me something else to focus on rather than my thoughts, feelings, and emotional pain.
What if, this New Year, I studied this verse in its entirety? What if, this New Year, I came to Jesus knowing He is safe? And what if, when I feel safe and my feelings bubble to the surface, I continue reading these verses: “Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (vs. 29).
• Jesus can teach me to grieve the parts of my life that have broken my heart; and then He is able to heal.
• Jesus can teach me to address my bitterness and move towards forgiveness that has broken relationships; and then He is able to heal.
• Jesus can teach me to have grace when I’ve been offended and moves towards loving but honest conversations; and then He is able to heal.
• Jesus can teach me to love those that seem unlovable to me; and then He is able to heal.
It is important to feel and process those feelings to move towards healing. As the old saying goes, “You cannot heal what you don’t feel.” Let me nerd out for a moment. Scientific discoveries around how our brains work and our emotions continually support God’s magnificent creation and what the Bible says. Science has revealed how our emotions are stored in our brains and bodies. Stress, trauma, and painful emotions that aren’t processed, stay inside of us. Much of the time, they get stored in the brain without us even realizing it, and become a filter for how we process life. Emotions are part of who God is, and because you and I were created in the image of God, emotions are a part of who we are. To feel is to be human. To not feel is to deny part of our God-given design.
As the New Year comes and goes this January, I want to take hold of the opportunity, hope, and energy that can only come from healing, which comes from Jesus. He is the wonderful counselor (Isaiah 9:6). The questions I am asking myself include:
• What do I need heal from?
• Where do I need to forgive?
• What keeps me awake at night?
• What am I grieving?
• What makes me anxious?
• What do I want to change about my thinking and/or my behavior?
Maybe I’m not the only one who is weary and has been carrying heavy burdens. Maybe I’m not the only one who needs rest. So, I’m making the decision to come to Jesus knowing He is safe and He loves me despite the mess I am. Maybe I’m not the only one who wants to be taught by Him, so I can be healed, and have the rest He promises. I’m ready for the new year, to lay down the burdens inside my heart, and to look up to The One who loves me. He loves me in and through my messy emotions and circumstance and wants to provide healing. Maybe I’m not the only one.
Megan Sinisi absolutely adores a good cup of coffee, chocolate, and sitting with people to share life stories. She is a native to Las Vegas, born and raised, and has four beautiful children with her handsome husband, Vincenzo. She is a counselor, specializing in the field of addictions, with multiple certifications, both in Nevada and nationally. She directed Nevada’s largest treatment court and has been building her private practice since 2014, acquiring contracts with the City of Las Vegas, City of Henderson, Clark County Special Defender’s Office, and Zappos.com. It is because of her own journey of healing and through her career that she has learned the wounds we have can begin to be healed as we share our stories. She considers it an honor when someone shares their story with her, and hopes that as she shares her stories of victory and healing that others can be inspired, encouraged, and challenged. Megan has a love and fervor for writing and is walking in faith that God is calling her to use that passion and gift for His glory. She is someone who is known for her honesty and transparency that brings light to difficult situations and feelings, and offers hope and encouragement for the journey of life. It is her hope that by sharing her journey, it encourages, challenges, inspires, comforts, and most importantly, shines the light of Jesus and the reality of His love, grace, and mercy. You can find more from Megan at www.meganjsinisi.com And @meganjsinisi on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.